My husband and I just recently celebrated our first year anniversary. Our first year of marriage went really quickly, and it also went really well. Although it was mostly stress free (I personally think our first year of engagement was a lot “harder” than our first year of marriage) there were some growing pains. This week on my blog I’m reflecting on the biggest lesson I learned during our first year of marriage.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase choose your battles. Not only has my mother said that phrase my entire life. But, it was the most common marriage advise I received during our engagement. To me choosing your battles means determining if an issue is worth fighting over or should be left alone.

I’m naturally a non confrontational person so choosing my battles comes easily. Few things ever seem worth fighting over. But when an issue was worth a discussion and when that discussion turned into a fight I would find myself unable to move on. While my husband would able to get over the fight immediately, I would stew in my anger for days at a time. No bueno.

The biggest lesson I learned during our first year of marriage is that choosing your battles is only half of the work. You also have to know when to end them. I also realized my failure to move on from a fight, was not conductive to a successful relationship. Now, I try to make sure our “fights” result in a solution. I’m less likely to be angry if the fight has a successful resolution. If that doesn’t work, I give myself a set amount of time to stew before I move on. I hope that one day I’ll be able to move on from an issue as quickly as my husband, but until then this is working for me. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in a relationship? Let me know below!

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